Am I just imagining this?
Hello to my return journeyers. A warm welcome to my semi-constant journeyers. And, a very special welcome to my new journeyers.
I am so glad you’re here.
I would like to dedicate this blog to my Shamanic teacher, Kriket. Much of what I share here are aspects of what she taught me early on in my own journey.
If you’ve been walking this path with me for a while, you might find yourself thinking, “Yeah, yeah, Heather, I’ve heard this before.” For those of you who drop in for a reason or a season, I hope you find something that can support you as you navigate your journey of self-exploration, personal growth, spiritual exploration, and healing.
I’ve said it before, and I will say it again – I prefer to define my work as a Contemporary Shamanic Practitioner to delineate that my own path of self and spiritual exploration, as well as the healing work that I offer, is rooted in ancient Shamanic traditions (Celtic and Norse) yet modified for the modern journeyer.
One of the practices that I draw heavily upon in my own practice, as well as in the space of a Contemporary Shamanic practitioner, is journeying.
Journeying is the practice of entering an altered state of consciousness to explore different realities (Spirit World) to gain insight into issues or challenges that you may be facing in your present, waking reality – also referred to as mundane or ordinary reality. Journeying can also be used to receive guidance from spirit allies/guides or ancestors.
Sometimes, when journeying, individuals experience the journey state or the altered state of consciousness as a series of visualizations. Those new to journeying often wonder, “Am I just imagining this?” It can be very difficult, at first, to discern if you are imagining what is occurring during your journeying practice or if you are, indeed, entering an altered state of consciousness. To imagine is to create images in the mind, ideas, or even thoughts that may be accessible or perceived only during a type of creative flow state, such as journeying. Imagining is the creative process of leaning into what is possible. Imagination, creativity, and journeying are inextricably linked.
I often counsel new journeyers that it doesn’t matter if they are imagining or “really journeying.” I have no doubt that there are technologies available that one could wear to determine if, in fact, one's brain waves slow down while listening to one's trusty drumming recording from The Shaman’s Path into the Theta state. The Theta State is the state between wakefulness and sleep and is connected to the subconscious mind.
For me, imagination helps me narrate and re-story my experiences. As does journeying. When we imagine a different time, place, space, outcome, experience, ending, and beginning, we are transcending this reality, and that is the place where we can access change and healing.
So, are you just imagining this? Possibly. But as my constant journeyers know, journeying is something you can’t do wrong.
Another question I get, and not just from the new journeyer, is: “What if all I can see is darkness.”
I must tell you, I love this question. This question is very common. Very normal. There are many reasons you may experience the journey state as darkness or all black.
For some, journeying in a group setting, such as during a workshop, can be challenging for the nervous system to establish a sense of safety that will enable the conscious mind to disengage and the aspect of the mind known as the personal unconscious to open.
For others, journeying alone poses the same challenges. If the space we are journeying in is distracting – the cat at the door, voices of others around – it can be nigh on impossible to enter the journey state.
Clear space and clear intention are two fundamental ingredients for journeying.
How do I create clear space?
In my practice, I draw upon the Celtic practice of saining, which is the practice of purification by fire and smoke. Where I live, this is similar to smudging practices of the First Nations, Indigenous, and Métis people of the sacred land that I am fortunate to live and work on.
I love to light a candle. When entering the Spirit World or other aspects of the personal unconscious or collective unconscious, the candle acts as a light in the darkness and promises to light the way back from these realms.
Although it took several years to integrate prayers into my own practice, I speak prayers into the space as a way of creating a sacred container and inviting helping spirits/allies into the space to ask for their support in the work to come.
How do I create clear intention?
This topic is so vast that it deserves its own blog.
Intention directs your energy and your focus to the task at hand. What are you, as the journeyer, seeking? Is it healing? Answers? An outcome? Intention is a powerful guide.
“But Heather, I’ve tried all these things. It’s still black.”
In my workshops, I often mention that each individual's experience of the journey state/Spirit World is unique and dependent on their own developed or undeveloped clair senses. Clair senses refer to the ability to perceive what extends beyond our regular senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing).
Coming into relationship with your preferred or strongest clair senses is a practice that I hope you embark upon. The word clair is French in origin and means clear. For me, my strongest clair sense is clairvoyance (clear seeing). Journeyers who rely on their clairvoyance may experience visions (some may be short clips or entire movies), symbols, images, or colours.
Some journeyers have the gift of clairaudience or the ability to hear sounds, voices, or messages from non-ordinary reality.
I have worked with many people whose strongest clair sense is clairsentience. Many people with strong clairsentience describe feeling sensations, vibrations, movement, or emotions within their physical or energetic field. This is where we hear the term “empath” thrown around in modern spiritual communities.
Those who describe receiving “downloads” are experiencing claircognizance. This is what is commonly described as intuition or a sense of knowing about situations, events, or individuals without any background information. Clear knowing is a deep feeling that can come forward in something as simple as an immediate response like a “fuck yes” or “fuck no.”
Many reiki or bodywork practitioners unknowingly or knowingly use the clair sense known as clairtangency. People with this gift can sense energies through touch or contact.
As with any clair sense and journeying, it takes a lot of practice. I am going to say this again: journeying and honing your clair senses takes practice. As such, it is so important to have patience in your journey.
“Okay, Heather, I get it. Clear space, clear intention, open to my clairsenses. Patience. Practice. But what if I am still stuck, seeing or experiencing ‘nothing’?”
I often respond to the statement “I didn’t experience anything” with “What did you experience?”
If you experienced darkness, how dark? What did it feel like? Heavy? Light? Solid? Could you feel your own body? Your breath? Other energies around you? What could you hear? Smell? Try again. Look a different way. Look up, look down, look all around. Don’t forget to take the blindfold off. Can you sense a doorway or a threshold? Can you open that doorway. Can you sense or feel around the wall in front of you?
Light a candle in the Spirit World. Light a torch. Light anything.
“I can’t get beyond my anchor spot. When you’re guiding me, I can experience it all, but then I can’t seem to get any further.”
Expectations trip all journeyers up – new and experienced. We often get stuck in what we hope or expect to experience. We’re always seeking what my Shamanic teacher Kriket called the “God Shot” journey – the one where there is a significant revelation, healing, impression, etc.
The reality is that journeying can be series upon series of small snippets. Of seemingly nothing. Journeying requires a shift and expansion of perception and perspective. Learning to interpret and make meaning of what you experienced during your journey takes much diligence. In our modern world, we are very used to receiving what we are seeking with the click of a button — if you have a question, just Google it.
Journeying is derived from Nature-based traditions. And Nature is slow. Let that sink in.
Of course, there are individuals that I run into who are blocked in their journeys by Suffering Beings, intrusive energy, The Critical Self, or the monkey mind.
I implore you to keep exploring this path, for your well-being and the well-being of those you hold relationship with and, of course, for the well-being of all of Nature and the Earth.
For many of us, journeying is learning to access our personal unconscious in a new and unfamiliar way. When we learn new things, we are bound to encounter several responses that are likely rooted in our brain’s need to keep us safe. For you, dear journeyer, these might include:
Analysis, overthinking, mental chatter
Critical Voice / Archetype of the Self-Critic or Saboteur
Fear
Resistance
It can be very hard to stop the mind from chattering on. First, it’s normal and okay for the mind to chatter. Let your mind chatter. It’s okay, mind – I hear you. Thank you. Can you turn the volume down a little?
It is okay for the Critical Self/Voice to step forward and say, “Are you sure about this journeying thing? This can’t be real.” Your Critical Self is there to protect you. Just ask a few of my return journeyers — they will tell you that they, too, experienced the battle with the Critical Self. Remember, she/he/they can be asked to sit in your anchor spot in a chair and wait for you there until you’re back from your journey. Remind The Critical Self that you will be safe in the journey state.
The practice of journeying pushes our boundaries of what we can experience.
We are all seeking meaning. Belonging. Connection. Understanding of the magic and mystery.
Sometimes, we fear what may lurk there just below the normal operating state in the personal unconscious. I have heard more than a time or two, “I don’t want to see that.” I have said to even my most dedicated journeyers, when you get stuck, journey to the resistance.
When journeying you are confronting the darkness. You are coming to view the version of yourself that needs to be broken apart and put back together. Your shadow. The depths of your wounding. But also, the capacity for healing.
Remember, Traditional Shamans practiced their entire life under the tutelage of a more experienced Shaman.
Their entire life.
Expectations trip me up, too, and I journey 8-10 times a week. Children learn to crawl, walk, and talk in a series of small moments. Journeying is like that, too. There will be a series of small moments that can only come together when you look back and reflect upon your journeys from a distance. Your skills will develop over time. The intensity of your experiences will deepen over time, with periods of waxing and waning in between.
Stay with it. Have patience for yourself.
I hope that you have found something in this space that has enlivened you and opened up a possibility for you to explore. I hope you close this page, put in your earbuds and listen to my drumming track. I’ll see you there in the Spirit World.
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As always, thank you for your kind attention.
Until we meet again in this time, this place, this space, happy journeying.
-Heather
